Tonight I think of you,
The last years with you I bonded deeply with you. I looked up to you and respected you, I still do. I hate myself for being annoyed with stupid things you did that now only seem so stupid. I wished I had just ignored them. I know you don't care and that it didn't matter and also that I annoyed you sometimes too. I wish we grew the bond we had earlier, we became very close I know you felt it too. I know you knew I looked up to you, you taught me so much, I wish I could learn more from you, what an inspiration you were. I still feel saddened that we never got to talk about me being pregnant, I know you were worried I would not finish school, I will go back Gus, next semester and finish just for you. I wish we had that talk because now I feel like Ive let you down. I hope in some way you know I'm doing OK, I can handle it and I will succeed. It just kills me to not know what you were thinking, or to hear what you had to say. Life goes on without you but believe me its not better off that way. I love you dear brother.